


Snow and Ice, Memory's Price

by thegalrahobbitofplantetgalilfrey



Series: The Red Paladin's Double [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Child Abuse, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 00:52:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9212357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegalrahobbitofplantetgalilfrey/pseuds/thegalrahobbitofplantetgalilfrey
Summary: Shiro is injured, and to keep him awake, the red paladin tells stories.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at a Keith/Shiro backstory. Keith's backstory is so overused and cliche it makes me want to throw up, and I freaking wrote this.

"Shiro! Watch out!" Too late. The blast hit the black lion and it fell towards the icy planet below. The red lion shot towards it, but a round of laser fire to its head from smaller ships shook her and she was falling too. Shiana had her helmet on and was out of the airlock before Allura could even begin to protest. She sailed towards the red lion, who opened a hatch and let her in. And there was Keith, slumped unconscious over the dashboard.

"Why did I get the feeling this would be how I'd find you," she remarked to the unconscious paladin. She turned to the controls. The ship was falling fast. Way too fast. She pulled a lever and the lion flipped over so that her feet were facing the ground. She tried to activate the rockets. They briefly turned on, slowing their descent, before fizzling out again.

"Hold on, this is going to be a rough landing." She pushed a couple more buttons before they crashed into the surface. They bounced once,  twice, three times before skidding to a halt, Red lying on her side. Shiana picked herself up from the side of the cockpit where she had been thrown with a groan. She could hear Keith waking up and she wobbled towards him.

"Have a nice nap, alien boy?" He smiled weakly.

"I don't think I'll be riding Shiana airlines again anytime soon."

"I don't know, I think I landed her quite nicely after the beating you put her through. Right next to the black lion and everything. Here, why don'tyou check on Red, and I'll see how Shiro is doing?" Without waiting for an answer, she ran out the door.

She stumbled to the black lion, who purred weakly when it saw her and opened the door. Shiro was slumped over the dashboard, just like Keith had been, but the fact that the shock of the crash hadn't woken him up worried her. She gently moved him and then gasped. There was a chunk of glass and metal from the window lodged in Shiro's stomach. There were also some deep lacerations on Shiro's arms and minor cuts on his face. She gently slid him out of the chair to examine him further. She was sure that she could probably stitch up the cuts on his arm, but she wasn't quite sure what to do with the stomach wound. Shiana steeled herself to touch the glass and pulled it out, as fast as she could. Shiro moaned. Shiana bit her lip as she pulled the top of her armor off, cutting off the sleeve of her sweater and cutting it into one long strip with her gloves' knife. She used the material to bind the wound before simply taking off her entire sweater, leaving just her T-shirt, and pressing it to the wound.

"Shiana?" Shiana jumped at the voice coming through the com.

"Oh! Keith, don't startle me like that!" A pause.

"Uh, OK. Um, how's Shiro?" Shiana thought how best to handle this. She

didn't want Keith to freak out, but she wasn't quite sure how to tell him Shiro's condition without him freaking out.

"Uh, well, he was unconscious when I found him, and he might have concussion. I'm checking right now."

"'Kay. Red isn't too bad. She'll be fine, I think." The com shut off. Shiana felt really bad about deceiving him, but she tried to tell herself that she hadn't lied, not really. It didn't help. She turned back to Shiro. Then she spotted a first aid kit and she pulled it down. Thankfully it had a surgical needle and thread and she was able to stitch the cuts on his arm, whispering soothing words as he whimpered. She stopped to listen to his heartbeat. Not good.

"Shiro? Shiro, I need you to wake up." Shiro's eyes fluttered open.

"Mmm? Shiana? What... What's going on?" He tried to get up before going backwards with a groan. Shiana gently pushed him back into a lying position.

"Shhhh. Don't try to get up. You got injured pretty bad. You need to rest."

"Why'd you wake me up then." Shiro's words slurred and his eyelids drooped.

"Whoa there Mr. Black Paladin. I need you stay conscious for me." Shiana gently patted his face.  "So, tell me how you guys got the lions back."

"We," he broke off, coughing. Shiana held him steady. "We flew in Keith's ship while the castle covered us. We cut a hole into the bottom and floated in. The lions were just waiting for us right there. Got lucky I guess. Red actually refused to let Keith in for a bit." He chuckled. "She was mad at him and didn't let down the particle barrier until the black lion told her to let him in." Shiana laughed, imagining Keith banging on the particle barrier yelling at Red.

"Right. Um, tell me... Tell me something about yourself. Tell me about your family." Shiro smiled.

"I... My mother. She was great. She was gentle and happy and encouraging. When I was little, I thought I could sing when in reality I sounded like a dying seagull. But she always encouraged me. She liked to take me places. Told me I had to see places before I turned into a crotchety old man. My dad... He was hilarious. He told a dumb joke everyday and made sound effects when you told a story. He worked at a nursing home. Like for old people. The patients called him a physical terrorist. He could be really sarcastic, but he never lost his temper. Like if you walked into something, my mom would be the one to comfort you while my dad would say 'hey, there's a wall there, sir.' But we could always tell when he was joking." Shiro smiled wistfully.

"Um, are they, uh, still... alive?" He sighed.

"As far as I know they are. Unless they died while I was gone. I wish I could tell them I'm okay." Shiana softened.

"Oh. So, you went to the same military boot camp school thing as Lance and Hunk and Keith and Pidge right? Did you have any close friends?"

"Well I had-" his voice choked up. "I had Matt and Commander Holts of course. But before that, there was Xavier. He was my best friend and my communications officer. He loved to have fun, was that kid who's respectful enough that none of the teachers could bust him, but still putting in enough sass in his voice that they knew he wasn't taking them seriously. Lance kind of reminds me of him a bit. Our mechanic was injured while on holiday, and they were looking for a new one for us when he convinced me to sneak out of the Garrison with him. We were caught, and Xavier took all the blame. Told the head that he had told me that we were allowed to leave just that night. He was kicked out, and they found me a new team who needed a pilot. Sometimes... sometimes I wonder whether I would have gotten kidnapped by the Galra had Xavier stayed and I'd gone on missions with him." Shiana sighed.

"That's sad. Tell me something happy that happened! Ooo, tell me how you and Keith met each other. Lance told me you two already knew each other before Voltron." Shiro shook his head slowly.

"Not my story to tell. His." He nodded out the window at the prone form of the red lion.

"I guess that's one story I'll never hear then," Shiana remarked softly, shaking her head sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"Keith... Keith doesn't like talking about his past. He shrinks away whenever I bring it up. I think... I think he is afraid that talking about his past will hurt him. He does that with everything, you know, physically or mentally. He shrinks away from the help his friends can give. We could help him, but he just wants to stew by himself."

Keith shut off the com. He'd heard enough. He had thought Shiana might be hiding something about Shiro's condition so he'd kept the com open. But instead they'd started talking about him. His _sensitivity._ Well excuse him if he didn't like getting touchy-feely about his background. Why should he? It didn't matter now.

_Oh, don't get so offended._

_"_ Red?!"

_Ta-daa! I feel fine. Sort of. Won't be moving for awhile, but hey, who cares. And you know Shiana is just concerned. She really cares what happens to you because the way her mind runs... She... adopted you? And the rest of the paladins? Not sure what that's about. Point being, she only wants to help. Also, you should probably check on Shiro._

_"_ Knock, knock?" Shiana perked up.

"Keith! How's Red?"

"She's fine. Just knocked out, huh?" Shiana flushed.

"I didn't lie! Not really! And, uh, why'd you come?"

"Red said something to the effect of... 'get over there because Miss Shiana is lying about Shiro's condition.'"

"Traitor. Me and Shiro were just talking about you, actually! I was wondering if you'd tell me how the two of you met!" Keith was about to flat out refuse, but then her words echoed in his head. _He's afraid that talking about his past will hurt him. He always shrinks away._ Keith shrugged.

"Why not?" Shiana couldn't stop herself from staring.

"Really? You will?"

"Sure." Keith settled down across from Shiro and Shiana plopped herself down also, forming a triangle. It made Keith think of the storytime circles in kindergarten.

"Okay. How do you start telling a story anyway? Um, so I was considered a 'troubled' child for pretty much my whole life. Mostly after my mom died, but even before then. I could normally fend off bullies by myself, but then I reached the Garrison, where bullies were bigger and traveled in packs. At first they left me alone because there were lots of smaller kids to pick on. Then one of the biggest, dumbest ones decided, why not pick on that kid? It's not like he has friends and siblings to set on us. So he just waked over one day and started asking derogatory questions like why didn't I have any friends, and why did my dad abandon us and why was my hair weird? And then of course he progressed to openly insulting me and I lost it one day. I told him to shut up and I punched him, and he punched back and we had a fistfight right there. I beat him up," Keith continued with satisfaction laced in his tone, "and of course his big friends came running over and demanded that I pay for beating him up. By fighting one of them. I was still angry and I agreed to their terms. Later I realized that I'd just agreed to fight one of them with their own friends reffing in an alleyway in the dead of night. But it was too late. I had already agreed and I couldn't back down."

"I will never understand why boys think that," remarked Shiana, "Just tell them you want to negotiate a new time and place with a few different refs. Don't get all masculinly proud." Keith gave her an odd look.

"That's how our minds work. Don't try to change us. Anyway, I went. Of course they ganged up on me and beat me up pretty bad."

"And that's where I come in," Shiro commented.

"Yup. A concerned student had gone to the commander to tell him what was happening, but he didn't care. But Shiro overheard and he cared."

"Would it surprise you to know now," interjected Shiro, "that the concerned student was Hunk?" Keith blinked at him.

"I feel like I shouldn't be surprised, but for some reason I still am. I guess Hunk has been helping me for a lot longer than I thought. Right, so the bullies would have kept going, but Shiro came in and scared them all away. He took me back to the Garrison, and kept me from getting in trouble." Shiana dove into the two paladins minds to see what the time had been like. It was interesting to see the two points of view. Keith, smaller as this had been two or three years ago, just hurt and trying to keep himself from being hurt more was distrusting of any authority figure (Shiana wondered where that had come from) but at the same time wanting to trust this pilot who had saved him. Shiro, looking at Keith and remembering Xavier getting kicked out only a few years ago because he didn't know when to stop. Wanting to protect this shivering teenager who was just trying to stand up for himself. The safety of Shiro's arms as he was carried back to his room, wanting to be alone with his injuries but also wanting company. The pang of sorrow at the thinness of this teenager who didn't even fit his red jacket, who Shiro could probably throw across the room if he wanted to, whose adventurous spirit reminded him of his new teammate, Matt. Shiana pulled out of them with a gasp.

"They hurt you bad," she stated indignantly, "I should go to earth just to find them and yell at them!" Keith winced.

"Please stay out if my head. Anyway, I saw Shiro in the halls fairly often after that and the bullies steered clear of me." Shiro looked a little embarrassed. "I kind of took different paths to pass by him so the bullies wouldn't come back, seeing as I was still there. One day Keith did something big-"

"I took a plane out for a joyride." Keith clarified. Shiro winced.

"Yes. He took a plane for a joyride. Anyway, the commander was really mad and was going to kick him out, but he said he'd give him another chance if I kept an eye on him. So I did. Until I had to leave." Shiana frowned, connecting the dots.

"Wait. Lance said you had been missing for about a year. But also he was able to start that year because Keith got kicked out, so Keith must've been kicked out around the same time you disappeared."

"Yeah. I started yelling at the commander that he needed to send a search and rescue mission to Kerberos because there was no way you crashed and he said no, so I called him an idiot." Keith shrugged. "He had never been particularly fond of me and was perfectly happy to toss me out."

"Wait, where did he send you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's not like your parents could pick you up. So did he send you to a foster home or what?"

"He didn't send me anywhere. I lived on my own in the desert."

"Wait he just kicked you out into the desert by yourself? A teenager without a job or a family, just to fend for yourself in the middle of nowhere? That is _not_ right! You can't just do that!" Keith gave her a look she couldn't quite fathom.

"What did the Galra do with you when they arrested your mom," he remarked quietly, "we found you on your own in a house in the middle of nowhere." For once Shiana couldn't find the right words.

"I- that's different! I mean they're the Galra, and I... It's not like my own race kicked me out! Shiro, wake up!" Shiro started awake.

"Oh, leave Shiro alone." Shiana shot Keith a withering glance.

"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Shiana marched over to a corner,

Keith following, not quite sure what he'd done wrong.

"Keith, as you so cleverly noted earlier, Shiro isn't doing too great. He has a big hole in his midsection and he's bleeding a lot. When people bleed a lot they get tired. But without the resistance of being awake they don't fight the injury as much and they quickly expire." She took a deep breath. "In other words, I'm worried that if Shiro goes to sleep, he won't wake up."

"Oh." Keith was a little shocked. He hadn't quite realized there was more to being a doctor than stethoscopes and wrapping people up in bandages. Now he understood why she'd asked him to tell his story. Not as much as she wanted to understand him, although he was sure that was part of it, but to keep Shiro from slipping away. She walked back to Shiro and sat back down, her ears twitching as she detected his heartbeat. He sat back in his original spot.

"Shiana, why don't you tell us about something _you_ did."

"Oh. OK. Um. Right. Story... Oh! Did I ever tell you about how the Galra thought a couple of six year olds were planning a rebellion?" Keith snorted.

"They what?!"

"Me and my friend wanted to build a treehouse. So we did. It was basically a box without a lid and with some very low walls. We were storing it with nuts and buckets of water to bean my friend's brothers with. But we giggled and talked and called it our fortress, and how we were going to 'shoot' the 'enemy' with our 'ammunition.' The Galra commander panicked and thought we were planning a rebellion. He set a tail on us, but we lost them in the woods. They got in a world of trouble. Eventually he himself tailed us and was very angry that he had gone through all this trouble for a treehouse and a war against brothers. You should have seen it. His face turned a whole different shade of purple." She chuckled at the memory. Shiro smiled. Shiana listened to his heartbeat, which had grown significantly stronger. He was still weak, but she decided a little sleep wouldn't hurt too much. And she would be right there if anything went wrong. She spread a shock blanket from the first-aid kit over him. He let out a contented sigh and Shiana smiled.

"So, you think I need to talk to people to get help through things." Shiana jumped. She had forgotten Keith was here.

"What makes you say that?" He at least had the grace to blush.

"I, uh, I kinda heard you talking to Shiro over the com." Shiana raised an eyebrow.

"Eavesdropping, are we?" He turned a deeper shade of purple.

"Do... Do you really think talking helps?" He blurted it all out is a rush.

Shiana smiled her gentle 'I'm here for you' smile.

"Of course it does. Never deny it."

"Can I... Can I talk to you then? About what happened when I was young?"

Shiana beamed at him. "Of course you can."

"I... OK. Here goes. My mom, she died of cancer when I was five or six. My dad was never around, but now I know it's because he's Galra. And I was kind of bounced around foster homes a lot, which is probably why the Garrison didn't find a new one. I probably had been kicked out of all of them. When I was... eleven, I think, a couple wanted to adopt me. He got drunk one night, and I..." he stopped.

"Go on," Shiana pressed gently, "I promise you'll feel better."

Keith took a deep breath. "He... He tried to hit his wife. I grabbed his hand and told him he shouldn't. He threw me into a table and came after me instead." Keith shuddered and his fingers unconsciously traced a scar near the top of his arm. Shiana put an arm around his shoulders and he leaned into her, glad of the comfort she offered.

"She called 911. The police arrived before too long, but it still hurt. She kept thanking me, saying she never would have been able to get out of that life without me, that I had made her brave enough to do what she should have done years ago. It didn't matter, though. They took me away because she didn't have a job. He had made the money. At least that's what they told me. I know it wasn't true. That's what they'd told everybody, because he was registered as working, even though she did it for him. They didn't even let her talk to tell them the truth. They just took me away. I never even saw that town again. It wasn't long before I was accepted into the Garrison and you more or less know what happened after that." Shiana could tell he was still hiding something, but she didn't press. She had coaxed him out of his shell, and that was enough for her right now.

"Thank you for telling me," she whispered, "I know it must have been hard." He sniffled. Shiana hadn't even noticed he was crying.

"I feel like a wimp. I mean, you were a slave! I'm sure that you had a much worse life than I did, but I am just weak about it." Shiana shook her head vehemently.

"No way! Sure, I suffered. But I had my mom and my best friend and my whole village to help me through it! To laugh with me and at the Galra and to comfort me, who all understood what I was going through. As a result, I am happy even despite that slave life. You..." Her voice turned softer. "You didn't have that. You were on your own with nobody to talk to. So you are actually stronger than me, because... I think without all those people to help me I would have broken much, much sooner. So don't let me hear you, or anyone, say that you are weak." She finished off and sat back down with a thump next to Shiro, leaning against the wall. Keith watched as her breathing slowed and she began to shiver as a wind blew outside, coming in through the hole in the window. He sat down next to her with a sigh. She had been right. The past still hurt, but it didn't feel as overwhelming. He wondered why she never talked about her family much. He could tell she had kept something back about them, but he couldn't tell what. Maybe she had a sibling? He nodded off, still pondering what she could be hiding.

Keith woke with a start, wondering what had shaken him awake. Just some instinct had told him to wake up. He looked at Shiro and saw him thrashing around in his sleep.

"Shiro!" He gently shook his shoulder, so intent on waking him that he didn't notice the hand creeping toward his throat.

Shiana was back on her planet with her family, having a picnic with all of her favorite foods. Then her mother turned to her.

"You know this isn't real right?" Shiana snapped out of the dream, alone in the darkness of her mind. Except... This wasn't all her mind. Shiro. He was having a nightmare. She slipped into his mind. He was strangling Sendak, except for Shiana, the image flickered to Keith and then back again. She tugged on his arm.

"Shiro, let go!" Shiro's face was twisted in a mask of anger.

"Shiana, I can't! I know you always think we should give second chances, but this Galra cannot be forgiven! " Shiana realized that Shiro was too far in his nightmare for Shiana to convince him to let go because it was Keith. She changed tactics.

"Shiro, this isn't actually Sendak," she whispered conspirationally, "it's actually his twin brother, Urak. He's here to help you, so why don't you stop strangulating him." Shiro released his victim and Shiana folded him out of the dream. She pulled a happy memory of Shiro's family out of his head and put that into his dream instead. He sighed in happiness and Shiana removed herself from his head and out of sleep entirely. Keith was coughing on the ground, his face blue instead of purple, rubbing his throat and gasping for air.

"You okay, alien boy?" He sucked in air.

"What," he gasped, "just happened?" Shiana winced.

"Ah, yeah, he has nightmares. And people in the real world who touch him tend to get incorporated in as his jailors. I've just kind of been listening mentally at night and if he has nightmares I just pop in and pull him out. This time I had to convince him to let go first." She looked mournfully at Shiro's peaceful form. "That was my fault. I should've been listening to him instead of falling asleep. Keith frowned.

"You've been staying up all night to listen to his dreams? For how long?" Shiana frowned thoughtfully.

"Mmmm... I'd say about a month. Give or take a few days." She started playing with a necklace Keith had noticed her wearing before but never asked her about. "Probably since Haggar used that spell to make us see our worst fears."

"Wait, so you haven't been getting any sleep for a month?"

"Yeeeees," replied Shiana replied slowly, unsure if she liked where this conversation was going.

"Why? And does Shiro know?"

"No, Shiro doesn't know." She stated this like it should be an obvious fact. "And well... I'm not sure... I never had nightmares before, but after seeing my planet destroyed..." She shook her head. "I'm not quite sure I want to test that. To go to sleep and see ghosts. I don't think I would be able to handle that. So I stay awake." She reached into her pocket as if she needed something to do with her hands. Her eyes widened. "Keith, you don't happen to have your end of the one way com, do you?" He pulled it out of his belt pocket. She snatched it from his grasp and held it up triumphantly.

"What's going on?"

"I left my side of the com at the castle!" She pressed the button and yelled as loud as she could into it, "ALLURA!" A minute passed before Allura's face showed up.

"Shiana! Keith! You're alright! Is Shiro with you?"

"Yes, he is! He's in critical condition, though. Get the cyro pods ready."

Shiana gave Allura the coordinates of the crash, and it wasn't long before the castle showed up and Coran used a gurney to wheel Shiro into the sick bay. Shiana and Keith were cornered by the other paladins, who demanded to know what had happened. Shiana smiled. Everything was going to be fine now.

Keith wandered into the sick bay. Shiana tore her eyes away from

Shiro's cyro pod to look at him. She had been so concerned with Shiro she hadn't checked him over. But now with Shiro in the pod, she could see his injuries. Nothing life threatening, just some cuts and bruises, but she mentally sighed at the thoughts of the struggle to even get him to sit down long enough to look at those cuts. But then Keith tossed a bottle of cleaning alcohol at her, suprising her, and sat down with a small smile. Shiana beamed back. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

**Author's Note:**

> This is all going kaput in season 2. But I already took the liberty of making him Galra, so who cares.


End file.
